What's the Rush?

 Seriously though people... What is the rush? I mean last time I checked I'm only 21 years old. I haven't graduated from college, I don't own a home, I'm certainly not stable enough on my own, So why should I be getting married or having babies anytime soon?
I have nothing against married people. I'm not even against marriage. (Though, I will admit I am scared with those divorce statistics) But WHY are people getting married at such young ages. ESPECIALLY before they're 21. Like... Bro you can't even legally drink at your own wedding. Let's make a toast with some sparkling grape juice?

Chad and I were discussing this earlier today and it inspired me to write a blog about it.
His stance is basically... Why is there such a rush and pressure on a guy to purpose? Women are constantly wanting to put a label on things and there's a lot of girls out there who push for marriage and it shouldn't be that way. There should be talk about marriage so that everyone is on the same page relationship wise but it shouldn't be all about "When we getting married? huh? huh? Is it time yet? Can we go look at rings? huh? huh?".

My stance is....I will gladly admit that at a couple points and times in my life I have waved back and forth between wanting marriage and not wanting marriage. When I was surrounded by people who were talking about getting married, getting engaged, or planning a wedding I was definitely like "Awwww, I wanna get married and have a beautiful wedding too!" but that's the same thing as baby fever. You see the most adorable little baby that's coo-ing and smiling at you and melting your heart and you're like "Ohhhhh! I want one" But then I'd remember what it was like to work in a day care how babies are NOT always like that and how young I am and how much I love not having to be tied down. I will also tell you that I have a board on pinterest on all these cute wedding ideas. But I also have a pink Camaro pinned on there and I can't see that happening anytime soon. So yes, while the thought of a wedding and walking down the aisle to see my handsome man waiting for me in a tux and his face light up as make my way towards him, arm and arm with my dad, ready to give me away- crosses my mind and excites me I also know that there is NO need to rush what I have.

In my opinion, I feel that there is a lot of pressure on women to get married. I feel that there are a lot of girls surrounded by other girls who are getting married/having babies and feel that that's what they are supposed to want as well. I mean, Most girls are brought up to want the "American Dream". Careers, Marriage, Families and beautiful houses. But just because you get married or have a kid with someone doesn't mean that everything else is just going to fall into place. You have got to work for what you want. No one is just going to be like oh you want a degree? A Job? and a perfect marriage? and A house and a perfect family? Okay hold on let me get that for you..... Hell no people! Hell No. You have to work for it. Now who's to say you can't be married, have children and still work towards that "American Dream"? No one. Just because you do it out of order doesn't mean that it's wrong. There's no "right way" to do life. That's not my point here at all. So get that straight and unbunch those panties ! The point is simply... what is the rush? There isn't one. So, if you know you're going to spend the rest of your life with this person and you know in your heart of hearts that this person is "the one" why, one year into the relationship is THAT the "right" time to get married? And why do some girls even go as far as saying "If we don't get married then we're over" or "If you don't get me that ring right fucking now we're over!" WHY GIRLS? WHY!? So let me get this straight.... You love him so much that you want to marry him... but if he's not ready you don't love him? You wouldn't wait for him to be ready? Guys that goes for you too... If your girl isn't ready when you are does that mean you're going to leave? I mean if you've been dating for years and years and they still aren't ready? Okay I get it. But then talk. Have a conversation... COMMUNICATE. That's seriously the most important part of a relationship along with trust and honesty. 

If your man/woman is ready to marry you 2 weeks into your relationship that's all good and well. But if he's so sure you're "the one" 2 weeks into it do you REALLY think you were the first one he felt this way about? Doubtful. Honestly that's scary. Actually as a side note, one time I started talking to this guy and 2 DAYS into us TALKING... Not dating, not seeing each other, literally just met 2 days ago and he's saying "If we get married" UM WHAT!? Let's just say i stopped talking to him prettttttty fast. Two weeks is NOT enough time to truly know someone. I'm almost 16 months into being in a relationship and there's still times where I'm like "hmm never knew that about him". You learn new things every day about your partner. And I truly feel that you should definitely live with your significant other before getting married. EVERYTHING changes when you spend CONSTANT time with another being. And that's not just for boyfriend/girlfriends...Friends and Family included! 

So for all the girls or guys out there wondering why their men won't pop the question, or wondering why your girl is not ready IT'S OKAY. Give it time. What's meant to be, WILL BE. But just because you're NOT talking about a near wedding and you're NOT getting that ring in the next couple of months DOESN'T mean your relationship is pointless or not going anywhere. If things are good, if you've discussed marriage, if you've been together for some time, if you live together, WHY RUSH A GOOD THING? Wouldn't you rather he/she be ready to do it ON THEIR OWN TIME? How would you feel if he purposed and later on it failed because you found out that he/she just wasn't ready and felt rushed? That WILL ruin it in the end. I promise it will. Enjoy the way things are right now.

~Disclaimer~

Let me start off by saying that I realize this may offend some people, some people may feel butthurt, whatever. Let me remind you this is my opinion and my opinion alone. I'm not writing this post to bash anyone or make anyone feel as if they made a mistake, should have waited etc. If you are married? Good for you and I wish you all the best. I'm writing this for the people who felt like I did at some points. For the girls who are upset that their men aren't ready for marriage. Because it took me some time to realize this but IT IS OKAY and there is no rush.